Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
