dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
