we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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