Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
