google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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