what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize