well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
