We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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