we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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