mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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