He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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