Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
