he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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