hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
