The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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