Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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