And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize