the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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