so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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