I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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