i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
