Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
