She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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