So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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