matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You were trust falling into bushes
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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