The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize