Just took my morning after pill in the library
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
