i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
