I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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