So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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