Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
