this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i will never coherently bang her
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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