guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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