I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I am naked and annoyed.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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