is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
