So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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