Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
