just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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