I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize