i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
