Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
