Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
