no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
