New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
