i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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