You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize