Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
