Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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