Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
