I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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