She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
