Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
