maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize