I hate all girls vehemently.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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