it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
