started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
