Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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