So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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