You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
