I can't watch pbs sober anymore
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
