Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
