U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
