We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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