Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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