Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
